dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize