Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
