For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize