i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
