no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
