i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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