so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
