Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize