Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
