I faked an abortion last night.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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