giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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