Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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