U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
