life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
