If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
third nipple confirmed
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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