I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
