After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
