fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I showed him my bush... on skype.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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