i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
i love accidental penises.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize