you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
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