My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
