it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
