I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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