Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
