Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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