NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
