It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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