Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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