What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
there was a trapeze. enough said
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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