Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
