The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
