Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
