Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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