You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
