whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize