I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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