How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
