I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
