I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
