I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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