I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
