I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
