I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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