I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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