why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
