Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
