i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
