Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
