addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Congratulations! We have a period
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
