we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Let's paint friendship bongs
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
