How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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