I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'm passing your future prison.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
