We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
