I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
