It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
