Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
even my farts smell like vagina
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
