I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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