he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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