Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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