I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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