I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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