IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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